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The ad said, "Seeking Older Gentlemen," so I thought to myself: "What the hell?" Although I was accustomed to these types being the laziest, minute-counting, jonesing fraudsters (and potential thieves, to boot), I decided to take my chances. After all, his pics looked good and it's hard to find them that good looking on a Saturday afternoon. Usually the good ones are still hungover and don't bother updating their profiles until Sunday night, or even the next Tuesday, depending on how many freebies they've had at the bars (or how many bars, ha!).

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